Wednesday, April 30, 2008

How I Met Your Mother (from Monday night)

I knew it! I knew that this was going to happen! Robin has "broken up" Ted and Barney (truth be told Barney was more than willing but still). Damn that Yoko!

After last week when Barney and Robin hooked up I wondered if this would throw a kink into the relationships on the show and by gussy (my grandmother used to say this) it has. Not only that but once again at the end of the episode we get some cryptic statement about how Robin lives in Ted's apartment when he is 31 (the episode was about Ted's 30th birthday). What the hell? So a year from now Robin and Ted are back together. We know that she is not the "mother" so what gives?

As my husband is constantly reminding me, these are not real people. But if you watch the show, you (meaning me) cannot help but get involved with the lives of the characters.

The entire episode, until the very end, was very funny. The flashback to the making of the "Bro Code" (Barney's rules for men and their friends) alone was enough to keep me laughing for a good 15 minutes.

And... up until the end, I felt the writers handled the hook up with a hilarious twist without making it too cheesy and out of character. I just could not handle "sad Barney" at the end. It depressed me (I know I am too involved where are my children).

Will Barney and Ted ever be friends again? Is it over for Barney and Robin or was it a one time thing? And why in 2009 are Robin's towels in Ted's bathroom? All good answer them.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

The Paper on MTV

As Amanda arrives fashionable late to her first ever staff meeting as Editor in Chief, you know that her dramatics and overbearing attitude are not going to be well received with the other members of the Circuit staff. I watched the first episode of The Paper on MTV and now have watched numbers 2 and 3 (so I am caught up) and I must say this group of high schoolers is hilarious.

This week and last weeks episodes centered around Amanda trying to get a handle on being in charge while Alex (the managing editor) is trying to accept the fact that he is second in command. Only in Florida will a student take the summer vacation to get a nose job; which is what Amanda (Miss dramatic) has done. this girl is too much and when I say too much I mean it. She tapes post-it notes on the wall to get her motivated, she talks to her dog about what the next day will bring, she plans an entire week of outfits and writes notes on them for accessories because "a great outfit is essential to a great attitude" and she throws an ice cream social to bond with the other staffers. The girl is living in la la land. I don't know if she is over acting (reality right?) or if she really is this strange, yet she wonders about not being invited to parties or not being included. She has the affected attitude of someone who feels that they are better and smarter and a sense of entitlement that is brought on by too many people telling her she is great (which she is not).

The most recent episode had Alex come up with a "day in the life" story idea about the football team. He and Dan (another staffer) were going to practice with the football team to write a story about how hard they work. Good idea, right? Well Amanda laughed at him twice. Once in the newspaper room and then she and her posse decided to go out to the practice and laugh again. Yet she cannot understand why Alex won't call her back or invite her to Dan's birthday party.

Next week looks like a mutiny is in the making. Should be interesting to see how the Amanda haters deal with her and a deadline. I think they should sic Adam on her. He is a major Diva (I love it) and I think he could take her. Once again the kids all follow your normal high school stereotypes and yes I have definitely concluded that Amanda is the one that everyone loves to hate.

Gossip Girl

I cannot stand not knowing something. I am the person who reads the last page of a book because I cannot stand the suspense (I know, I know that is the best part). Imagine how I felt last night watching the entire episode of Gossip Girl last night and still not finding out Serena's big secret.

Georgina arrived last night ready to "party and drink" (again how do these kids get served alcohol all over town) with her buddy Serena. Serena accepted the invitation because she felt that she needed to. Georgina spiked her drink, Serena missed her SAT's, Serena freaked and called Chuck? How bizarre is a world where Serena goes to Chuck for help instead of Dan? At the end Georgina introduces herself to Dan as Sarah. Finally a twist for the golden couple but I still need to know what is going to happen so that I can prepare myself.

On the Queen "B" front; Blair invited the girls over to study for the SAT, but first she wanted to sabotage the smartest girl in the class (who also wants to go to Yale). Blair's back and more campy then ever. Also, Jenny met a guy (she needs a "king" so that she can be "queen") and Nate and Vanessa are hanging out.

Hopefully next week we will find out Serena's big secret. Will Georgina break up Serena and Dan? Is Serena going to hook up with Chuck? Oh and who in the world is going to be gay (my money is on little Erik but we will have to see)? Tune in. XOXO!

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Top Chef - Chicago

Finally, finally I have had a chance to sit down and discuss my thoughts about Top Chef last week. This weekend has gotten away from me and after seeing the re-run of the show for the third time on Bravo, I figured I would go ahead and voice my opinion.

The week started like any other week with Jennifer "doing it for Zoi" and Spike talking about how great he was. Andrew did pipe up and state that he would miss "pretty-boy" (really?) Ryan. As the cheftestants walked into the kitchen the sweets covering all tables was a sure sign of what was to come. The QuickFire this week was to make a "delicious" dessert (Padma's words not mine I wanted a dessert that tastes like crap). The winner of the QuickFire would receive immunity and their recipe would be included in the Top Chef cookbook (nice plug by the way). Richard won (shock) and he wins immunity for the week.

Next up everyone gets dressed because they have been invited to Second City (Improv) for the evening show. While there the actors on stage start taking feelings, food and color words from the audience. Here comes the Elimination Challenge ladies and gentlemen. The cheftestants (got to use the word twice) split into teams of two and have to create a dish inspired by the words from Second City. For example; Richard and Dale (dream team) are asked to create a dish inspired by green...perplexed...Tofu. Andrew and Spike team up and their words are Finally Spike will get to make his butternut squash soup. Antonia and Lisa (yuck) are a team and they refuse to follow directions and instead of cooking drunken, polish sausage they create a dish of sea bass (because polish sausage and sea bass are the same thing, right?). The top two teams end up being Dale and Richard (again shock) and Spike and Andrew. Dale and Richard win!

The bottom two teams are Antonia and Lisa and Stephanie and Jennifer. Stephanie and Jennifer had to create a dish out of orange...turned on...asparagus. The explanation that these two had was way too fallic and suggestive. Plus the judges hated it so...Jennifer goes home. No more "doing it for Zoi". I liked Jenn and I enjoyed her humor but she became a little too literal. Do I think it is fair that she goes home and Yucky Lisa and Antonia did not follow directions and they get to stay? No I don't but as the judges stated at least their dish was good. Who is next people? Please let it be Lisa!

Friday, April 25, 2008

I Hate Comcast

My internet (and phone and cable) has been out all day. I have watched Top Chef, and The Paper and My Name is Earl and would have loved to write about all three but I have been unable to do much of anything. Can you tell I am frustrated? Plus my husband is out of town and what will I do with the children if they cannot watch television all weekend? It continues to flicker in and out so we will see what happens. I called this morning and the people at Comcast reported no outages in my area. Really? None? Well let me report one. I will try to discuss the shows later.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

America's Next Top Model - Cycle 10

I think that I have finally become sick of this show. I have loved all seasons of America's Next Top Model (some more than others) but this season is getting on my last nerve. The judges continue to rave about Anya and I just don't see it. Plus...she cannot speak people!!!! Her "accent" (if that is what you call it from Hawaii) sounds fake and she comes across as a dumb (and dumber) blond who has no education! My goodness that was a rant, wasn't it?

This week followed the models in Rome as they took a tour of the city (on Segways no less) and had a fashion/walking challenge for Gai Mattiolo (some Italian designer I have never heard of). Of course Anya won (my God people) and she took home an original designed Gai Mottiolo (again, who?) dress. This was the week for the Cover Girl commercial and since normally none of the models do well, I knew that this would be interesting. Plus the commercial was done in Italian. This never bodes well. It was not. Anya was horrible (shock) as was Lauren (again shock, she just looked pissed off the whole time). Whitney was slutty as was Fatima. Katarzyna was boring (the judges have already spoken to her about her lack of personality). And shock of all shocks; Dominique looked like a man!

The judging was extremely frustrating. None of the judges knew who to send home because all the girls were so bad but if I heard one more word about the beauty (?) of Anya I thought I would throw up. The judges finally made a decision and Lauren was sent home. Good decision since Lauren cannot walk and had an attitude during the commercial but at least she looks like a girl. Dominique looked scary and crazy in the commercial and she is still here? I am not sure what Tyra is thinking this season. Nice to see Whitney (the plus size model) is still around but the judges continue to get on her about being fake. She will not last another week.

Tyra if you are listening; If Anya wins I will boycott your show. There is something off about this girl and there is no way the American public can listen to her speak. If she says how grateful she is one more time I think my head will explode. Having gone full circle I am now pulling for Fatima and Katarzyna.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

How I Met Your Mother

I was finally able to watch this week's episode of How I Met Your Mother and my goodness was I in for some surprises. The return of Robin's previous teenage self "Robin Sparkles" the Canadian pop star returned this week in a fun look back of Robin's first boyfriend. A surprisingly funny, James Van Der Beek, played an aging singer (for a group called Foreskins), who visits Robin in New York. Same old story, she loved, he broke her heart, summer romance and so on. Also Simon was her love interest in her video. The funny part was not just Van Der Beek's Canadian accent (although that was hilarious), it was once again the idea of Robin as a "pop" princess.

Here is my worry; at the end of the episode Barney and Robin watch the video (Sandcastles in the Sand, seriously funny) together after Robin is once again dumped by Simon. The two (Robin and Barney) end up making out. Is this going to ruin the awesomeness that is Barney? It does seem as if the two of them have always fit together well but are we ready for a Barney and Robin romance? Or will this just be a hook up? I guess only time will tell with this one.

I love the word Revertigo! This is a new word made up by Marshall as he tries to explain what happens to people when they get around old high school friends. We (everyone does it) all have a tendency to Revert back to our high school persona (as Robin did with Simon and Lily apparently does with her friend Michelle), thus was born Revertigo. Love the explanation and love the word. Lets see where the Robin and Barney thing goes next week. Til then.

What to Read?

Lats week, during my funk, I decided that I needed to start thinking a little more. Most days after the children are in bed, I am so brain dead that I do not want to think about anything. Hence the reason for my addiction to Tivo and television in general. However, I read every night before I go to sleep so I thought that maybe I should read more challenging books. I adore all books including chick lit, mysteries, children's books etc but lately I have been reading a lot of fluff. So off to the library I went to try to vary my reading options and read more "literature". I checked out a book by Jane Austin and another by Henry James and felt that this would get me started on my quest to expand my horizons. Well, as of today I have returned both books to the library because I could not get past page 1 of either book. I tried, I really did but I think after 4 years of staying home and a lifetime of television addiction my brain will no longer accept the classic written word. The lesson of this experiment; don't try to change what you like just because you think you should. At least I read something, right?

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Gossip Girl

I hate Blair! I hate Jenny! I hate Blair again! Wait, I hate Jenny again! Never has a show been such an emotional roller coaster for me (OK there have been others). I must say that I was a little disappointed with the newest (finally) Gossip Girl last night. I was hoping to see Michelle Trachtenberg and all we saw were gifts from her to Serena (which we thought were from Chuck). It looks like she will be arriving next week. I just felt as if the show needed some power behind it and I am not sure that little Jenny has that power (oh how I miss the Queen "B").
Here is how it all went down. Blaire arrived at school to heckling and yogurt in her hair (made possible by little Jenny). Serena told her to suck it up. Serena and her family have moved in with Chuck and his Dad and Serena is miserable (while Eric is surprisingly OK with it all). Serena continued to get mysterious gifts throughout the show thinking that they were from Chuck. She then reported this to her Mom and Chuck's Dad kicked him out. Poor Chuck! The Serena got a note stating that everything was from "G" (who we know must be the mysterious Georgina) and that she is returning to town. Meanwhile, little Jenny has stooped to stealing to keep up with her rich friends and with Blair's help she is caught with a stolen dress. The girls promptly drop Jenny and head to Blair's table at Butter but it is not over yet. Armed with her new friendship with Nate, Jenny shows up at Butter (with Nate trying to be nice) and steals Blair's comeback moment.

The questions are; will Blair let this go (oh hell no)? Does Jenny have the evil spirit to come out on top? Why are the new underlings not very attractive (aren't they supposed to be the hottest girls in school)? What is Serena's big secret? How do these kids drink everywhere they go? Was anyone else grossed out when Serena accepted a drink from Chuck? Till next week. XOXO!

Monday, April 21, 2008

The Paper on MTV

The Paper is the newest "reality" show on MTV and I tried to watch the first episode last night. I would like to say "don't bother" but I am a sucker for stupid reality shows that feature young people trying to act much older. The show follows the trials and tribulations of the staff for a high school newspaper (Cypress Bay High)as they work each week to get the latest edition printed and distributed. This first episode was about the selection for the next Editor-in-Chief.

Just to be frank, I cannot stand Amanda. Amanda is the bossy, goody goody who sucks up, stays home on Saturday night to finish her application essay and puts down the rest of the staff because she thinks that they are not as smart as she is. We all knew this girl in high school and she has come back to haunt us. Also, Amanda began the episode singing (contrived anyone?) and ended with a too smug look (over acting on reality television) on her face. Of course Amanda won the Editor post and the rest of the staff hates her. God this is good television.

The other staff members include Alex the managing editor, Gianna the news editor, Adam the advertising editor and Trevor the assistant business manager. Gianna and Trevor are dating and are constantly touching one another throughout their day. Alex is the typical curly haired doofus who loves sports (loves to watch never plays). And then there is Adam. I would bet my wedding ring that if he is not already Adam will come out of the closet. He is bitchy, loud and over dramatic. All the makings of a first class Diva and he is only a junior in high school.

So I watched the first episode and I will try for the second. For anyone who wants to relive the good ole high school days, check it out. Isn't it funny that the hair and clothes change but the actual people (or types there of) do not. We knew these kids in high school. We were these kids in high school. Now we get to laugh at these kids in high school.

New Gossip Girl Tonight

So much excitement! New Gossip Girl tonight at 8 on The CW. Looks like there is a new Bitch in town. Michelle Trachtenberg will be joining the cast as Georgina.

Loved her on Buffy the Vampire Slayer but I am thinking that she will not be as lovable in the land of Gossip. XOXO. Tune in!

Top Chef - Chicago

Ryan, the self proclaimed "metrosexual", has been sent packing because he was unable to understand the concept of making tailgate food. How is it possible to not know how to cook Tailgate food. Even if you are not a sports fan, you have been to a bar right? OK, OK back to the beginning.

The most recent episode started with Spike announcing that he was "a talented dude". Fine, sure he may be talented but I think he is feeling a little guilty about Zoi getting the boot. Jennifer then comes on screen and announces that Zoi is "the love of her life". OK that's great as well but sorry to say this Jenn, you gotta win for you and not someone else. Finally, Dale sort of apologizes to Lisa (yuck) but lets her know that she is negative and bitchy. Truer words were never spoken but Lisa does not seem to hear him.

On to the QuickFire Challenge. Make a dish that can be paired perfectly with beer. Jennifer actually wins the challenge and receives her immunity on the wave of a shrimp and scallop beignets. Very impressive but adding to that she worked with LandShark Lager, one of my personal favorite beers. As a side note, Dale was in the bottom three for the QuickFire and Lisa said "Good bitch have fun on the bottom". Nice to see she holds no grudge against our overconfident Dale.

Next up, the Elimination Challenge. This challenge was right up my alley; the cheftestants would be going to a Chicago Bears game and would be in charge of the tailgate party. As another twist, the fans would decide the top three and the bottom three and then the judges would make the final decision as to who the winner and who the loser was out of these choices. Everyone had two hours of prep time and then home for a good nights sleep and a bath? Somehow Mark and Spike ended up in a bubble bath together drinking champagne. Not sure I understood this but who am I to judge.

The next day everyone arrived at the tailgate party. Each person was provided a grill. Everyone but Mark chose gas as Mark stated he had the "testicular fortitude" (big balls) to want to use charcoal. The judges arrived in Bear's jerseys ready for game day. All in all it looked like a good day. Dale proved that he knew his football and the he was in fact a big fan of the sport, Nikki ran out of food, Mark could not keep his area clean and Ryan worked the crowd. I think that Ryan had to work the crowd because honestly who wants to go to a football game and eat a poached pear.

The judges table was up next and the fact that Stephanie, Antonia and Dale were the top three was not a surprise. All three of these chefs have begun to prove themselves (minus Dale in the QuickFire) and each seems confident in their dishes. The winner for the tailgating challenge is....Dale with his ribs (um yeah) and warm potato salad. Dale wins a jersey and a new Weber Grill. As he sends out the bottom three, once again no surprise. Nikki ran out of food, Mark was land blasted for his cleanliness and Ryan did not cook tailgate food. Finally (after Ryan stops talking on and on and on and on) Ryan is sent home.

Next week is pastry week. Please oh please let Lisa go home soon. Also, I hope that Jennifer has gotten some of her bitterness out of her system. I like her better when she is cracking jokes and more easy going. I hope that Dale's win does not go to his head. Will anything happen with Mark and Spike? Stay tuned!

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Feeling Funky

I don't know about other moms but I get into funks and feel as if no one loves me and I am not appreciated. It does not happen too often but on those days that it does, all I want to do is sleep, read or of course watch television. All of these options are virtually impossible when you have two children running around on a Saturday but it is a nice thought. I do not know what triggers my funks but I do know that they don't last long and I should be feeling better by tomorrow or Monday. In fact Monday would be a good day to feel better since all new episodes of Gossip Girl start back Monday night! Back to my funk; I wish I could be a normal person who feels good about myself and my life all the time, but alas I am not normal. Happy Saturday everyone! Oh and I have watched Top Chef but I am not in the thinking mode right now to write on the newest episode. Maybe tomorrow.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

America's Next Top Model - Cycle 10

The judges have got to get off the Anya kick. I agree that she takes good pictures but I cannot listen to her speak for more than 30 seconds (if that). There is no way with that voice that this girl is ever going to be a "Top Model" Also, why is Dominique, the man, still around. She just looks so old and masculine to me and I hate (hate hate) her attitude. My goodness I am punchy this morning.

Anyway, the girls had a party last night where they wore Jay Godfrey designs and had to basically "work the room". Jay Godfrey's designs were great looking on all the girls and I was impressed by the fact that there was a stunning dress for Whitney. At this point you knew that Stacy Ann was going home. All the sound bites were that she was fake and she was not herself. The girls then got a message to pack their bags and everyone thought they were heading abroad. At this point Fatima freaked out because she did not have her travel documents (she is a refugee) and if the girls went overseas Fatima would not be able to go. The girls show up at an airplane hanger for their photo and Fatima leaves for her appointment to get a passport (by the way did she consider how important this was before she came on the show). The remaining girls did a group shot and Fatima missed the photo.

The judging was normal with Mr. Jay being the guest judge. Although Fatima had no photo, Stacy Ann was sent home (not fair but whatever). The group is now on their way to Rome. Please oh please did not let Anya win this competition. I am not sure who I am pulling for but please not Anya (or Dominique for that matter).

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

The Biggest Loser - Couples Edition (Finale)

I am just wondering how Allison Sweeney defines five minutes? I was told that we would know who the final three were in the first five minutes of the show. This was an untruth but I will let it slide because "Big Roger" came out on top! Yeah, Roger is in the final three and now he has a chance for the $250 thousand (I love how they continue to say quarter of a million, I think they think it sounds better).

Now it is time to see the "transformations" of all the remaining contestants. First up the Green team who left first. Boring. Then Neal and Amanda, the White team (she looked great, he is still not cute). Then the Brown team; I loved Curtis and Mallory and wished that they had stayed longer, but Mallory looked hot. Going home did her good. Bette-Sue was next and she looked good but you could tell she was very excited for Ali. Think Pink! The two girls from the Purple team looked good. They still have weight to lose but the blossoming of their personalities was evident (my God that was cheesy). Orange was up next and Jackie looked 20 years younger. What a hot mama and Dan looks younger and happier. I got a little teary when Trent walks out from the Gray team; he was one of my favorites and I loved his infectious grin. Bernie and Brittany from the Blue team did not look like the same people. The two of them were beautiful, confident and skinny. Finally the Black team arrives. Crybaby Mark is joined by his brother Jay and both men do look phenomenal. All and all no major losers in the respect that everyone has lost weight.

Now it is time for the $100,000 weigh in. I will admit that I thought Mark had it wrapped up. Curtis looked great and he stayed on the winner spot for a while but then Bernie replaced him. By the way did anyone else read that Bernie was a dancer for the Chicago Bulls? Seriously, what is up with that? Anyway, Mark is the last to weigh in and he does not beat him. Bernie wins the losers prize and he just looks so happy. Great smile Bernie, by the way.

Time for our trip down memory lane and the finalists are introduced. Big Roger is first and he looks amazing. He actually has a defined face now and it looks as if he has been working his behind (literally) off. Then Kelly walks out and she too looks just wonderful. Her grin is huge and her waist (she has one) looks so trim and fit. Finally, Ali walks out and there is a gasp. This is not even the same girl. She looks like a size two and she is smiling and yelling like she knows she has won this thing. Roger weighs in first and does amazing, then Kelly. Kelly does great and loses over 100 pounds but this is not enough to beat Roger. Now it is the moment we have been waiting for, Ali weighs in and has to lose over 105 (I think) pounds to win the whole thing. Ali loses 112 pounds and she does it. She has become the first female Biggest Loser.

I am sad that Big Roger went home empty handed but he is still my favorite and I hope that he continues living the healthy lifestyle. Football season will be here before you know it and that will be a true test. Roll Tide Roger! As for Kelly, I do hope that someday she can have a baby. We missed Paul at the finale and I hope that he is feeling better. Finally, Ali looked terrific and she was consistent throughout so no ill will there. Although she was eliminated I guess most will say she earned her way back on the show (most would say this, I still wanted Big Rog to win). I do hope that she finds happiness because she looks just wonderful. Now I am done being nice. Great show and I will watch again!

I do volunteer...

I need to do my update on The Biggest Loser! By now I am sure that everyone knows who won but I had to volunteer at the book fair today at the kid's school so I have not had time to write anything. As a parent, every once in awhile you have to have a little "face time" so that the teachers and administrators at the school know how much you care. We have ballet in a few minutes but I will be back. So glad it is Hump Day!!!

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Love to See a Grown Man Cry....

Last night on How I Met Your Mother, Jason Segel was yelled at by his boss and subsequently cried like a girl in front of everyone. It was nice to see a funny twist on the absurdity that is corporate America. Best scene by far last night; when Marshall (Jason Segel) was forced to yell at Barney (Neil Patrick Harris) and slammed Barney for his belief that Bob Barker is his father. Although the scene at the diner when Marshall yelled at the waiter (and the waiter yelled back) was pretty good too. Once again, laugh out loud funny.

Top Chef - Chicago

I am so thankful that I finally watched the show and avoided all communication regarding last week's episode until I was able to watch yesterday. Now I know, the couple has been split up!

Zoi is going home and Jenn was not happy to see her beloved go!

The episode started with a guest chef (someone else I did not know) and the QuickFire challenge. This challenge was to test the cheftestants pallets. Everyone had to be blindfolded and then tested on which item was the more expensive or "fine" of the two. Antonia won the challenge and was granted immunity for the Elimination Challenge. The Elimination Challenge broke up the group into small groups of three. Each threesome had a different element (fire, water, air and earth) that they used to base their plate on for a group of eighty. Fire won the challenge (Dale, Stephanie and Lisa) and Lisa won overall. Just to add my thoughts here, Lisa is a bitch. She complains, yells and bitches about everything and yet she won. Not fair! Not Fair! not that I wanted to see Dale win (he is an asshole) but Lisa was just unpleasant and someone please tell her to wash her hair at some point, please!

Anyway....the bottom two teams were water (shockingly Andrew, Richard and Mark) and earth (Spike, Zoi and Antonia). The elimination was not pleasant with Spike blaming Antonia and Zoi basically not saying anything. In the end Zoi went home for lack of seasoning and after the fact there was plenty of drama in the holding room. Jenn yelled at Spike and clung to Zoi, Dale finally let loose on Lisa, which of course Lisa did not take lying down. Jenn even threw a chair at one point. Very exciting!

So on to next week and I must say, does anyone think that poached salmon sounds good?

The Biggest Loser - Couples

The finale is tonight. Who will win? Crybaby or Big Roger? Or will it be a woman finally? 8:00 baby! Two hours of fluff to get to the final winner. of course I will still watch.

Monday, April 14, 2008

How old..?

How old do I have to be before I stop feeling like a child around my parents? At age 35 I still allow them to make me feel like I am a twelve year old who has done something wrong. Last week my husband and I went on vacation. We actually traded houses with my parents and they came down here to watch the children. The entire time I was in my mother's house, I had this fear that I was going to mess something up. I actually bleached a towel and I was like a scared child when I called my mother to let her know what happened. I am an adult! I am the mother of two, I have been married for almost 11 years and I own my own home. How is it that in one fail swoop of a sentence (or even a word) my mother can make me feel so small and insignificant. I know, I know these are my issues but my goodness how old will I have to be before I get past them?

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

The Biggest Loser - Couples

How is it possible that both guys lose 15 and 12 pounds and still lose to the girls this week? Plus I was hoping to have some closure as to who was going to be in the final three but no....America gets to decide. If you did not vote for the non crybaby (that would be Big Roger) than I am going to be a little miffed with you. I mean how much more weight can Mark lose (and how many more times can he cry)? He is going to disappear; he has gotten so skinny.

This week saw the final four returning to the ranch. Allison announced that there would be no trainers this week and that there was a special guest. The special guest was Rocco (by the way between this and Top Chef he has been special guesting all over the place) and he showed the remaining contestants how to cook their favorite dishes the healthy way.

Lots of working out this week and another challenge, with fat suits and a big mountain, that is won by Mark. I know he wins a lot but he still cries way too much. The lost weight opened up the tear ducts (I have said this before) and now he cannot close them again. The trainers show up to help with the last chance workout and Mark needs to cry to Bob. Seriously you will see your brother again. Stop crying!!!!!

The weigh in starts with Big Roger. He needs to lose 15 pounds to pass Neill's record of most weight lost on the ranch, and he does. Roger is looking good for the finale. Next up, Mark who then loses 12 pounds. Now Mark's percentage is more than Roger's because he has gotten so damn skinny (I do like my men with a little meat on their bones)but the boys are still looking good. Then Ali (I have been spelling her name wrong, so sorry) steps on the scale and she has bypassed both boys and is down to 135 pounds. What a, wait for it........transformation! Roger has fallen below the yellow line, that's it he is gone no one wants to keep him around because he is the biggest. But wait, Kelly weighs in and she too beats the guys. This puts both Mark and Roger below the line. Yep that's it for Big Rog because the girls will keep little Mark around to up their chances and then Allison steps in and hope is sprung. America is voting.

We will not know until the finale who is up for the title. Crybaby or non crybaby, who will it be? The final four packed their stuff to leave, had one more moment with their trainers (Roger got a little misty with Bob but that was it, no full on crying) and have headed home to greet their families. Next week is the live finale and I cannot wait to see who the finale three are. As always I am pulling for Big Roger (southern boy thing) but I must admit it would be nice to see Ali go all the way. She has been a trooper this entire time and she looks absolutely stunning. I like Kelly as well. She reminds me of the sweet girl in high school that just wants to hang with the in-crowd. Please oh please just don't let it be Mark. I know he worked hard but he just grates on my nerves.

So next week fans and if you did not vote last night, well screw you. Roger I voted for you! Roll Tide!!!!

My Name is Earl

There are guest stars and then there are Guest Stars on a weekly television show. I am not sure where Paris Hilton fell in the range of guest stars when she appeared in last weeks newest episode of My Name is Earl. Although touted as a full-fledged guest on the show, Paris appeared for what seemed like 15 seconds and said "that's hot" three times. Now I love this show (Jaime Pressly in particular) but what an absolutely ridiculous publicity stunt to get people to watch. Plus the show already had Alyssa Milano guesting and for most men that is enough.

Anyway, the show began with Earl and Billie (Milano) laying on the road after both being hit by a car. Actually before the show began the President of NBC, Jeff Zucker, tried to give a funny recap of what had been happening with the show (yeah it wasn't funny) and then the show began. Randy tries to save Earl and finally they end up at the hospital and Earl will not wake up. After appearing to be no more than an organ donor, Earl begins to show some life when Randy and the others begin to cross things off the list.

I am glad to see the shows returning with a little life (no pun intended) after the writers strike. However there is no need for stupid, vapid, non-talented (Hilton if you did not know) guest stars that add nothing to the storyline of a particular show. My Name is Earl is fabulous without adding unnecessary people to the show. Remember that!

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Samantha Who?

Does anyone else think that Christina Applegate is one of the cutest actresses on television? I think that she is adorable and this show is the perfect arena for her comedic talent. With a new episode last night, Samantha Who? is back and has become one of the funniest sitcoms on the air right now.

Last night Samantha had to move back into her condo because she is not allowed to sublet. Of course she moved in right as her ex's new girlfriend was moving in as well. Hilarity ensued as the new girlfriend threatened Samantha and then Sam tried to get back at her and prove she was evil. The plan did not work (it would have worked for Bad Samantha) but Samantha will be back and she will get the guy.

Funny, funny show! This show has a great cast and some very inventive storylines. I love the Good Samantha/Bad Samantha angle and hope that the stories continue to be fresh and innovative. Watch on Mondays usually after Dancing With the Stars. Glad that the shows are back ABC!

Spring Break Day 2

Day 2 of Spring Break has been a little better than yesterday. We went to the beach this morning and the children are worn out. Things got a little hairy over lunch but now that rest time has begun all is peaceful. Am I the only person (mom) in the world that enjoys rest time and bed time so much that some days I really look forward to it? I know I am supposed to be molding their young minds but my mind is suddenly dead after a long day. Julie the Cruise Director (me) has to come up with an activity for this afternoon. What will we do? The busier they are the less they fight. And no I am not just realizing this.

Monday, April 7, 2008

Top Chef

I know that it takes me a few days to watch this show and discuss but I am starting to really enjoy it. OK, it would be better if I could eat the food (I am going to continue to say this over and over) but the drama is starting to heat up (get it heat up like a stove hee hee). Last week Erik (scary bald man) was eliminated so now on to the next challenge.

This week started with a guest judge (another very famous chef that I did not know) and a Quick Fire challenge. The Quick Fire was to create a "beautiful vegetable plate" using three or more techniques to make the plate stand out. As a non-chef I was unaware of what they were talking about when using the word technique but I took it to mean special ways to cut, arrange and prepare the food to make the plate more pleasing to the eye (my God that sounds like I know what I am talking about). Anyway, Dale won the challenge (fancy cutting techniques) and immunity for the Elimination Challenge.

The cheftestants (still love the word) were then split into groups of two (except the team that Dale chose to join) and had to create an entree inspired by a movie. Richard, Andrew and Dale seemed to be the dream team. This trio chose Willie Wonka (one move I hate with a passion, scared me as a child) and created a dish using faux caviar and white chocolate sauce. I was actually impressed with Mark and Ryan. The two seemed an unlikely duo, especially when Ryan started throwing out movies like Dumb and Dumber, but when they settled on A Christmas Story and came up with their Asian inspired duck dish; the idea really seemed inspired by their movie and they worked very well together. Once again Spike was an egomaniac and decided he wanted to do Vietnamese food before he decided on the movie (Good Morning Vietnam). Manuel just seemed to blindly follow Spike's lead which eventually led to Manuel's downfall.

In the end Richard, Dale, and Andrew won the challenge (Richard won overall) and Manuel was sent home. So on to next week to see who goes home next and who the next guest Chef may be that I do not know. I am waiting to see what will happen when one half of the lesbian couple is sent home. Also, I need for Spike to be taken down a few notches. It was his vision on the last challenge yet Manuel went home. It does not seem fair.

Spring Break

It is the first day of Spring Break for both of my children and already I am going crazy. We went to the gym this morning, then the library and then the grocery store and now that I am home all I can think of is "what am I doing wrong?" My children fight, scream, whine and complain and have basically done that for three hours this morning. Am I a failure? As a stay-at-home mother if my only job is to raise my children and they are acting this bad, have I failed? I have become angry screaming mom this morning and I don't like it. It's Spring Break we are supposed to be having fun, going to the beach chilling out. OK, OK deep breaths. This week has to get better.

Sunday, April 6, 2008

Make Me A Supermodel

What a waste this entire hour was. The decision had already been made as to who was to become the "supermodel" and yet they kept us waiting for an hour to make sure to drive the point home. The models had go-sees (can they steal any more ideas from Tyra) to see if they could book jobs (and they were able to). Not only that but we had to watch each of the final four have a reunion (of sorts) with a loved one.

Did anyone else feel very uncomfortable for Ben and his wife? it was like he did not want her in his "new" life and she just seemed awkward and unsure (I think that this calls for a bless her heart). I do not see this marriage lasting at all. Especially after Ben was drooling over the other supermodel earlier in the day.

At least Holly's reunion with her fiancee was heartfelt. She seemed really excited (Holly shows emotion) and happy to see her beloved. He also seemed smitten and agreed to follow her wherever the journey took them. OK, vomit sweet but still sweet.

Poor Ronnie, no beloved only mom. He did seem happy to see his mother and she cried and said all the right things about her son who wants to be a model. Nice to see a mother so supportive of a son's dream and when she was kidding around with Ben's wife about Ronnie and Ben's bromance I was impressed with her acceptance of her son.

Now to the truly awkward (more so than Ben and his wife) moment. Perry's girlfriend arrives amidst the reports of her cheating on him. They whisper to each other, she tells him not to be stupid and like the wave of a wand all is right with the world. First of all, my God Perry, who wears the pants in this relationship? She basically admits she cheated but you accept that without any other explanation. The whole scenario made Perry look like a wuss and honestly made me like him less. Stand up for yourself. Ya'll may have been separated for three months but you did not cheat and you were surrounded by beautiful women.

Moving on (because I could bitch for hours about that one); the final runway show was fine but again a waste of time. Then the announcement came. Shock of all shocks, Perry leaves first. my money was on him all along so I was jolted by this news. Next to leave was Ben. Again a big shock. Everyone was gushing so much about his improvement that I thought he might honestly win. So the final two are Ronnie and Holly? Never saw that coming. I knew that Holly was a possibility (everyone loved her look) but I would have never put Ronnie in the final two. And the winner is.......Holly! OK, I can see it. She was consistent throughout and she will make an excellent model.

Final thoughts..will the show come back? Will we ever see any of these models grace the pages of any magazines we have heard of? What will happen to Perry and his girl (and do we care?)? Will Ben and his wife make it? Will Ronnie ever find love? This was a good show (read good not great). I do wonder if there will be another season. Stay tuned.

Friday, April 4, 2008

Teeth and Money

My oldest child lost his fourth tooth last night. The "tooth fairy" came and left him two dollars on his bedside table. He woke up this morning very excited about his money and announced at breakfast what he was going to buy with his new found wealth. As he was listing all of his new purchases I could see my youngest getting madder and madder about her lack of money. At that point my three year old announced that she was going to "make her teeth fall out because she needed money." At this pronouncement I freaked out. I had all of these mental images of my cute little three year old knocking her own teeth out just to get money to buy new toys. I tried to make her understand that all boys and girls lose their teeth eventually but not until the age of five or six. I also helped her to remember all of the "cool" toys she already had that she never plays with. I am hoping that this will be enough. I still have doubts that she understood but as long as I don't find baby teeth littering the house I will be all right.

The Real World Awards Bash

This "bash" was on Wednesday night and I just watched it last night. How old do I feel knowing that The Real World is going into its 20th season? Twenty years! Truthfully I have not watched the show the last 8-10 years. I have tried to get into many of the seasons but so much of the show now is so contrived that I cannot get past the girls kissing other girls because its "cool" and admitting that they are sex addicts.

The awards show was supposed to be a cummulation of the last 20 years before introducing the new Hollywood cast. The awards consisted of categories like; The Biggest Playa, Favorite Love Story, Steamiest Scene (yeah that was Vegas), Best Meltdown and so on. The final award was for Favorite Season. Now you know that only young kids are voting these days because Austin won for favorite season and most of the older fans did not even know that there was a season in Austin. Plus how in the world can Austin beat the first New York (still the first and the best), San Francisco (you may hate Puck but he kept you watching), or even New Orleans (I still love little Melissa).

I will say that it was interesting to see so many familiar faces from the last 19 seasons. I am still addicted to the challenges so every once in awhile an older cast member (Beth) will show up to compete. No matter what anyone says, The Real World is still the beginning of reality television and the first few years of the show were so much fun to watch. I felt as if I had a little trip down memory lane as I watched cast members (most that I did not recognize) get their fish bowl awards. I now feel old and outdated but it was fun to remember my youth. I wonder if that is how some of the older cast members feel?

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Should I Stay or Should I Go....

Does anyone remember this song? Should I stay or should I go now, if you stay there will be trouble (and so on something like that). The lyrics are replaying themselves in my head right now. I have a friend who has found out that her husband is cheating on her. I actually think that she has known for awhile but did not want to admit it. Now she is pulling the martyr and has decided to stay "for the children". In fact her exact quote was "I have my kids so I will be fine." My question is, are the kids enough?

I love my children (most of the time) and would do anything for them but would I continue in a trust free loveless marriage, I don't think so. My children are great but they cannot talk to me at the end of a long day about adult things, they cannot go out to dinner with me on Saturday night and have a few drinks, they certainly cannot be intimate with me (gross) and they will not be staying with me their entire lives (God I hope not anyway). Everyone deserves to have someone who loves and respects them. In my opinion if you cheat, you no longer respect. Some people can regain that trust and respect; others just give up but no one should have to stick around and be miserable for the sake of someone else.

I got a little preachy with my friend (I did not mean to) and told her that didn't she want her children to see a happy fulfilled mom as opposed to a mom who is just settling? She had no answer for that. I guess no one really knows how we will react until we are faced with a similar situation. I just hope that I never have to find out. Sorry, got a little serious today. Happens every once in awhile.

America's Next Top Model

Claire is gone? Claire, is gone? How is this even possible? The judges saw more potential in Lauren than they did in Claire? I am going to have to send Tyra a strongly worded email. There is no possible way that Lauren or Dominique (tranny girl) for that matter have more potential than Claire. Here's what happened;

After a couple of girl fights (Lauren seems to have a bit of a temper) the girls headed to their challenge which turned out to be group go-sees. Now go-sees have never been done this early in the competition before but maybe since the show is in New York Tyra wanted everyone to get used to the idea. The first group was Claire, Dominique (tranny girl I can't help it), Whitney and Stacey-Anne. The second group consisted of Fatima, Lauren, Anya and Katarzyna (can anyone pronounce this girls name?). The first group won easily (because Lauren sucks as a walker) and received a photo shoot for Seventeen.

This weeks judging photo shoot was bizarre. The girls had to lie face down on clear plastic, in water, while the photographer took the shot from below. The photos were more artistic than anything else but the effect was fairly interesting. However, I am still trying to understand how, from that vantage point could they possible decide who had the worst shot. And how in the world the worst was Claire. Minus last week, every other picture that Claire has taken has been phenomenal. Do we honestly believe that America's Next Top Model is going to have great pictures but not know how to walk?

Judging was judging. The judges seem to have their favorites (Anya, really?) and I am not sure that Claire's look and attitude did a whole lot to keep her around. So Claire is gone and Lauren sticks around for another week. Paulina said it right when she was describing Lauren's walk as lumbering. I will say that if Dominique the transvestite wins this cycle I will never watch ANTM again! Nice pronouncement, huh? We all know that is a big fat lie but I will be pissed. The girl looks like a man and talks like a man. I just don't see it. I hope that Claire has a career in modeling because I thought she was stunning.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Barack Obama on The View

I finally watched last week's episode of The View that featured Democratic Presidential candidate Barack Obama. It was interesting to see the ladies surround Obama on the couch but I had a few issues with the telecast.

1. All of the ladies spent entirely too much time discussing Rev. Wright (Obama's former pastor) and the fact that he made racist statements in some of his sermons (by the way most of these sermons are at least 4 years old).

2. Did anyone else think that Joy Behar looked like she was about to wet herself every time the Senator spoke? She looked so excited to have him there that she could not contain her glee. She was the first to clap when he announced his plan to remove troops from Iraq (he actually never said how) and when he announced the plan to have health care for all Americans (again he never gave the how).

3. I was impressed with Whoopie when she asked her questions. She did not gush but she was not rude. Whoopie was direct and to the point as she asked her questions and I felt that the answers given were well thought out (did he practice ahead of time?).

4. Elisabeth always has to look like the bad guy when a democrat is visiting. Her questions were fine (I guess) but I truly don't care if his "spiritual advisor" said something stupid years ago. She just kept harping on it. Move on Elisabeth to the issues and stop worrying about what the people surrounding the candidates are saying.

5. Barbara is getting more and more ditsy as the years progress. I sometimes wonder if she is actually listening to what is going on or if she is waiting for her cue to let the audience know that the show is going to commercial.

I usually love The View and can handle all of the different personalities but on this particular episode everyone (even Sherrie) got on my nerves. I watch the show a lot, especially when the candidates are on, and I look forward to good solid interviews so that I can get to know the person behind the politician. In this situation it seemed as if all of the ladies were so supportive of Barack Obama they were unable to be impartial. At the end Whoopie made a direct plea to John McCain (on camera) that the ladies wanted to interview him. Now that should be interesting. Do you think Joy will show up with her list of questions or will she just shoot him mean looks the entire show?

Dance Lessons

My little girl takes dance/ballet (she's 3) every Wednesday. I so wanted her to have more coordination than I did so I have started this dance thing early. Not only does dance (for 1 hour a week) cost $70 a month but we have to pay extra for the recital outfit. Well today we finally got to see what we are paying the extra $250 (I kid you not) for. It is hideous! The outfit is supposed to be a fifties poodle skirt inspired concoction but my goodness I could learn to sew the damn thing for $250. I know, I know why bother if it costs that much and I am bitching about it? How can I look at my child and say, "everyone else in your class will be in the recital but you can't. Oh and by the way you can't have the costume that the instructor made such a big deal about either." I may be bitchy at times but I am not heartless. I have to suck it up, smile and allow her to be in the recital. Oh yeah I forgot to mention, we have to buy tickets to the recital and they cost $20 (at least) for each ticket. I think I need to go into this whole dance studio business. I am definitely missing out on something.

The Biggest Loser - Couples

Down to the final five with only two more episodes until the finale, it makes total sense to take the whole crew to Australia? Why go to Australia, I do not know, but off they went last night to Sydney for a little vacation. If I were Dan (who was eliminated last week) I would be pissed. One episode shy of going to Australia, yeah that sucks. Before flying off to Australia Mark has a little meeting with the girls to discuss getting rid of Roger (they view him as the biggest threat). What happened to team solidarity and sticking with your boys, Mark? I hope Big Rog kicks your now skinny ass!

The five arrive in Australia to see their trainers, Bob and Jillian, who did not know who had been eliminated at the last episode. Bob's face fell when he realized Dan was gone (I always knew that Dan was his favorite) but he smiles at his remaining boys and vows to keep them all around. The group gets to site see around the city but also has to continue with the workouts.

For the challenge the entire group has to climb Harbor Bridge (the big bridge in Sydney) to find out from Allison what they need to do. Of course Mark starts crying (again) because he has a fear of heights. Please make this man stop crying all the time. It is starting to get ridiculous. I know he has lost a bunch of weight but that does not mean that his tear ducts are now open wider. Stop crying sissy boy! Once the group arrives at the top Allison informs them that they will be competing in a triathlon (swim, bike, run) and the finish line is at the top of a 44 story building (no you cannot take the elevator up). The remaining contestants are off with Mark and Alli in the lead. Big Rog brings up the rear in the water but is able to pass Kelly on the steps. Alli and Mark tie and win the prize which is a sea plane tour of Sydney. They also receive a phone call home. Shock of all shocks Mark begins to cry again!

On to the weigh-in; no one loses a bunch of weight this week. Alli wins the weigh-in again and Big Rog is safe although he only loses two pounds. Below the yellow line are, wait for it....the two brothers. The group has to decide between Mark and Jay. During deliberation both brothers start crying (shock!) and Jay decides to sacrifice himself for his brother. Mark stays and Jay goes home and they both cry (again).

One more week until the live finale. My money is still on Roger, although Alli is gearing up to be the first female "Biggest Loser". I wonder who will win the $100,000 for the contestants not on the ranch? Curtis? Dan? Neal (yeah right!). Two more weeks!!!!

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Top Chef

I finally watched last weeks episode last night and I must say that I was slightly disappointed. I have finally gotten into this show but it is still not filling the void left by Project Runway.

This past episode featured the chefs preparing basic everyday foods and trying to expand on them. The Quick Fire Challenge was to reinvent the taco (is that even possible?) for a more upscale (fine dining) restaurant. There were many that had issues with this challenge only because Mexican food is more street than anything but the creations were creative (for the most part) and well presented. Richard won immunity and then the cheftestants (love that word) were told to split into two groups. The Elimination Challenge was then presented; in this challenge the chefs had to get food from a neighborhood and then prepare food for a block party in this same neighborhood. The Red team (Andrew, Dale, Spike, Erik, Jennifer, Ryan and Zoi) really tried to focus more of the style of food that would have been normal for a block party. The Blue Team (Richard, Stephanie, Mark, Manuel, Antonia, Nikki, and Lisa) seemed more focused on creating food for the judges and it apparently worked. Neither team blew the judges away but in the end the Blue team won and Stephanie won the challenge overall. Erik (big bald guy), because of his soggy corn dogs, was sent home.

I counted on this episode (and then stopped because it got stupid) and Andrew used the f***bomb over 7 times. Also, Spike is extremely full of himself (I guess you have to be) and I am amazed that he thinks anyone can even cook near him. Jennifer and Zoi (the lesbians) were on the same losing team this week. You know that they were sweating it out to see who was sent home. Has to be hard to be on a show with someone you love and that you are trying to beat.

This show is so hard to watch objectively because we have no idea what the food tastes like. I hear the ingredients and think, "that sounds good, or "that sounds horrible" but unless I am able to actually put it in my mouth, it is hard to know who is actually a really good chef. Who do you pull for?

Bitter Betty

I have this friend who is absolutely the most bitter person I know. No her name is not Betty but it should be. She cannot get pregnant and has been trying for a few years. Now this girl already has a child but wants another and is mad at the world and beyond that it is not happening.

Please understand that I sympathize with what she is going through (I had a bit of infertility myself) and I am not trying to disregard her pain. However, she does not want anyone else to be happy and she is mean every time she hears that someone else is expecting. Plus this girl has decided to make it her life's work to make everyone else as miserable as she is. Who wants to be around that?

I actually saw this person over the weekend and in the 30 minutes that I spoke with her, not one happy thing came out of her mouth. How can you possibly live like that? Food for thought.

How I Met Your Mother

If you are not watching this show, you need to be. Last night I was laughing so hard that I thought I was going to wake the children up. I do not think that there is a funnier character on television than Barney Stinson (NPH) and he completely and totally makes this show.

The premise last night was that a girl was trying to sabotage Barney's ability to lie to get girls into bed. One girl out of the many that he had slept with was stalking him to make sure that no other girl would fall prey to his lies. So Barney, who keeps a scrapbook of all of his conquests, sets up a "March Madness" bracket to narrow down the choices to one. He only gets to the final four and then visits each woman to see if they are the one. None are but at the end of the segment when the song One Shining Moment is played (basketball fans will know but it is the song that is played at the end of the NCAA tournament) while flashbacks are popping up across the screen was shear genius. I loved the whole concept (of course CBS could do this since they are broadcasting the basketball games) and I actually had tears running down my face. The writers gave us one more little treat; at the end we got a nod to Doogie Houser at the computer as Barney (NPH) was typing out what he learned. The Doogie Houser music played as Barney wrote that he learned he was AWESOME!

This show is once again on the bubble to come back next year (why is it that I always fall in love with shows that no one else watches). I honestly believe that it is one of the funniest, if not the funniest, sitcom on television right now. Please watch! I love this show and I finally want to to meet the "Mother".