Top Chef - Chicago

Not only was last nights episode a true test of my patience (I hate Lisa, I hate Lisa, I hate Lisa) it was also the first time in the history of me blogging that I actually wrote down items to remember. I don't usually take notes but the quotes in last nights Top Chef episode were too good to pass up. Here are just a few that struck my fancy;

"Dale is a little bitch." Spike as he reminisces about Dale's little meltdown in last weeks challenge.

"There is a fire inside my stomach like I am going to stab somebody or make some amazing food." Andrew with his wild eyed shaky look heading to the Top Chef kitchen.

"Put sexy back into salad" or "bring salad's sexy back" Padma and Sam (season 2 finalist) describing the Quickfire Challenge.

"There are people here who don't deserve to be here. They're not that great of chefs and their personalities suck ass." Lisa describing her fellow cheftestants. Really Lisa?

"I have one question for you..do you like burritos?" Richard for the 15th time trying to get the police officers to try his food. Richard shut up!

"Somebody f**ked with my rice." Lisa explaining to the judges that she was sabotaged and that is why her food was so bad.

I just could not resist. These people (especially Lisa) just open themselves up to ridicule. So anyway, last night basically went like this. The Quickfire Challenge was to reinvent the salad (and make it sexy, whatever). Surprisingly Spike won and his prize was that he could chose four items that all of the other cheftestants would be unable to use on the Elimination Challenge.

With Spike grinning and rubbing his hands together like the evil manipulator he is, Padma explained the Elimination Challenge. The challenge was to create a healthy (gourmet) boxed lunch for the Chicago Police Academy Cadets. Each meal had to consist of at least 1 fruit, 1 vegetable, 1 whole grain and 1 lean protein. Spike chose chicken, bread (asshole), lettuce (asshole again) and tomatoes for his dish which meant that no other chef could use these items.

Most of the meals went over OK with the police cadets. Oh yeah I forgot to mention that in the kitchen for preparation "someone" apparently messed with the burner on Lisa's stove and her rice was not cooked correctly (sabotage of course, never user error). The top two of the week were Stephanie and Dale with Dale pulling out another victory. He and Richard are neck and neck at this point. The bottom three were Spike (karma sucks), Andrew and Lisa. At this point I get excited, is it finally time for the bitch to leave. Oh hell no, she stabs Andrew in the back (all the judges knew he had forgotten his whole grain but she had to point it out) and Andrew leaves, a little crazy eyed but with his "honor" intact.



Just a small note (this recap is much longer than I anticipated). Lisa (bitch) made a big deal about Andrew not following the rules and not using an item in the required list. With that said, does anyone remember polish sausage? Yeah take that Lisa you bitch. Please do not let this he-woman make it to the finals. Restaurant wars next week!