I am absolutely shocked...

and I say this with the most sarcasm I can muster after reading this headline:

 Bachelor Pad's Vienna Girardi, Kasey Kahl Split

Just so you know, I give them credit because I assumed this would happen months ago...

The Bachelor Pad Finale - Part 2

So the reunion special is on and for most of the "couples" the information has already leaked on who is together and who is not.  Very few surprises...we already knew about Jackie and Ames, we already knew Vienna got her nose done (by the way awful hair and the nose job must have been done after this show), and and we knew that Vienna was a fake bitch, we knew that Kasey was a tool, so the point of the reunion...more fighting between Jake and Vienna (God 15 minutes yet?).  

Although Kasey did apologize to Jake which begs the question is he still with Vienna or is he now realizing how bad she is.  Oh wait...he is crying on television.  Is this to make me like him now, because its not working.  And Vienna just looks on with that bitch ass expression on her face not trying to comfort her "boyfriend".  Apparently they are still together.  I give it what...6 months maybe!  Even Erica gives them her blessing (and why do we care)...is she not the one who said, "this is a mansion not a trailer park and Vienna needs to take Kasey and leave".  Now that is how I feel about fame and the public eye for both of them.

OK so the Blake and Holly thing was taped for TV...yep their engagement was taped just for ABC.  Are you kidding me?  Leave the Bachelor Pad and get engaged on national television for everyone to see.  Would have liked that better if they had kept it private.  But they are moving to SC together and I give it...6 months!  And then they tell Michael on the show, live.  Shitty, shitty, shitty...poor Michael, someone please give him a hug now...please.  I cannot believe that they told him on the show.  He was so shocked and did not know what to say.  I had to fast-forward it because it was too painful to watch.  Michael you will get your girl eventually.

OK now this 2 hours has gone on long enough.  Just tell me who won so I can go to bed please.  1 vote at a time....come on Chris Harrison.  OK so it was Holly and Michael but now Chris Harrison puts them in the finals.  I thought that was the finals.  Now its down to Keep or Share the money.  Of course Michael and Holly will Share the money...

And Michale and Holly will split the money.  The end.  Holly is engaged, Michael is sad but he has $125,000 to make it better.  I am so glad its over yes you know I will watch again as much as I bitch about it and on to the new bachelor. and I am going to bed.  Welcome to Ben F. 

The Bachelor Pad Finale - Part 1

Have you ever looked at a group of people and felt that not one of them deserves to win?  Yep that is how I feel about the finale of the Bachelor Pad.  Although I would be less sad if anyone but Kasey and Vienna were to win.   So the final four couples head to Vegas to perform a routine for Ciirque de Soleil...because this is what we all should be able to do to win $250,000.  I felt as if Chris Harrison may have been smirking at the scared shitless couples...just saying.  The winner (of whatever it is that they have to do) gets to go straight to the finals.  The losers go home immediately. 

Of course Kasey makes the statement that he and Vienna are going to win because they are the "best" couple in the house.  Yep because being suspended 100 feet in the air and performing well is all about being the "best" couple.

Quick question...what do 3 former Bachelor/Bachelorette people know about performing in a Cirque De Soleil routine?  How did they get to be judges?  They did pick Holly and Michael to win the challenge so they go immediately to the finale so at least they got something right.  Plus how fake was that kiss from Vienna and Kasey?  

So sad that Kirk and Ella had to go home.  Ella was devestated and blamed herself.   I liked her and I wanted her to get some of the money.  So yeah, I am pulling for Michael and Holly to win.  Even if they are not a couple; even if Holly dissed Michael for Blake, even if Kasey really does have a sick grandmother (yeah right)...Holly and Michael are the only choice to win. 

OK here is the kicker...Holly and Michael get to choose who is in the final with them.  If they choose Vienna and Kasey then they will win (who would vote for Vienna/Kasey over Holly/Michael), if they choose Graham/Michelle then the decision is up in the air.  And the decision is....Michelle and Graham.  Holly and Michael are the bigger people and stuck to their word. 

Suck it Kasey and Vienna!!!!!! 

Who will win..stay tuned...

Poor Michael....

It looks like it really is over for Holly and Michael on The Bachelor Pad and beyond.  A new story was posted today on people.com....

Bachelor Pad's Holly and Blake Are Engaged

I am not sure that Michael will recover from this and on another note...Miss Holly works fast!

 

So I guess that Blake did not hold a grudge after Holly voted him off.

The Bachelor Pad - Nearly Wed Game????

I finally watched this tonight.  Busy week people!  But after a wild (OK I am trying) round of the Nearly Wed Game (and one mention of whoopie by Chris Harrison) the couples had dates and Blake and Erica went home.  And yes this took the entire 2 hours (OK I condensed it a little).  So my favorite quotes from the night:

Kasey when responding to the fact that he and Vienna have not had a date yet "we need some romantic one on one time and have a little stress relieved" Horny much Kase?

Kasey to Vienna.."don't be crazy" (yep that train left a long time ago Kase)

Erica about Blake, "I am totally going to seduce him"  (sorry threw up a bit in my mouth)

The look on Blake's face when Erica suggests staying in the fantasy suite...no words just a look, disgust, fear, revulsion etc...

Why in the world would Blake and Erica give the roses to Kasey and Vienna?  Obviously it backfired but did they really think that anyone would not vote for them? 

So yes, Kasey and Vienna are still in the house.  If they win, I will never watch again (ok you know that is a lie by the way but please don't let them win).  My new favorites are Ella and Kirk....

The Bachelor Pad...Michael Needs a Hug

Just a few observations from the stupidity that is The Bachelor Pad....

• Melissa is a crazy ass bitch.  When she was raging through the house looking for Blake after he picked Holly to go on the date I thought she was going to hurt someone.  She is the girl that stalks you (and I mean scary stalk not charming stalk).  Think about that Blake and be afraid.

• Is it just me or is anyone else staring to like Ella.  I like her redneck self and she seems fairly straightforward.  

• Erica gives me the heebie jeebies with everything she does.  From the kissing contest to the weird massage she gave Blake, it all just felt wrong.

• Poor Michael!  Holly left to go on a date with Blake and Michael was devastated.  When they showed him after he realized that she would be gone all night, it broke my heart.  He told her he loved her and she turned him down (sort of)...bless his heart. She is still undecided and that sucks for Michael. 

• It was so nice to have an episode that was not centered around Vienna and Kasey.  Minus the stupid kissing contest we saw very little of them and it was nice.  Oh and Kasey's story about his grandmother and why he needed the money.  Not to be mean (OK I am being mean) but I bet anything there is no sick grandmother.

•  Hate that William had to go.  Was so wishing that Kasey was on the way out.  And of course Melissa was out and she freaked!  Blake's fault of course...

This is good television people...

Protect and Serve - The Bachelor Pad

Just a few little observations from this stupid ass show last night...

13 - The number of times Kasey said Protect to Vienna last night.

 2 - The number of times I almost threw up in my mouth....once when Erica was talking about Jake's package and then again when Erica kissed Jake (bless Jake's heart, he will do anything for a vote).

75 - The number of minutes that I actually missed Dave and Natalie from last season and wish that they would take the place of Vienna and Kasey.

5 - Number of minutes I laughed at the stupid fight that Kasey and Vienna go into last night. 

3 - Number of times Mike's face made me feel sorry for him about still being in love with Holly.

17 - The number of times that I thought that Kasey was an idiot during the show (and that is a low number for last night)

22 - Number of times I questioned my sanity for watching this show last night.

I was a little surprised at how abruptly the show ended but I guess it made for "good" TV.  Till next week.

The Bachelor Pad - I love Chris Harrison!

This show is beyond me...yet I still watch!  Just a few observations from last night.....

• Kasey is a crazy ass idiot.  Vienna has him so whipped that he truly believes that he is the Godfather of this game.  He wants Jake gone so bad that he laughs the maniacal laugh and plots his revenge.  What the hell did Jake do to you?  Oh and "Protect" you tool.  Is that the only word you know?

• The competition was an egg toss and the boys threw at the girls and vice versa.  The questions were mean "who do you find the least attractive" and for the people that got hit you felt kind of bad but then you realize that they signed up for the game and that feeling passes.  

• Vienna is an excellent actress.  Seriously she is really good...

The reason I love Chris Harrison so much is that last night when Vienna was bitching about being forced to be in the house with Jake, Chris looked at her and said "no one is forcing you to be here. there is a door and another door.  you can leave anytime"  I loved it.  Of course Vienna looked shell shocked and kind of stupid but she was not leaving.  Then the twist happened.  No boys were leaving, everyone had to vote out 2 girls.  Vienna sat on the couch screaming to her people, "if we all sit here they can't do this, this is cheating".  Look bitch ABC can do whatever they want, its their show.

Gia gets pissed and walks out when she realizes that Kasey is a big fat tool and liar.  So everyone has to vote for 1 more girl.  Sooooooooo it ends up being Jackie and then Ames in his goofy ass way decides to leave with her.  My goodness what will happen next week...

The Bachelor Pad -My IQ just went down 50 points

I am not recapping this show.  I can't.  It is too dumb.  But I will include a few bullet points of the highlights just so you can understand the pure unmitigated stupidity of the entire show.  The show began with everyone arriving at the house.  Let me reiterate that I adore Chris Harrison but I do wonder how he can continue to keep a straight face as this franchise continues. 

• This girl Erica that walks around in a tiara had a few good nuggets of blond wisdom and I quote "Its a good astrological time for me" and "my morals aren't really that strict"  Yeah she is a peach.

• As Jake gave Vienna (yeah the show was all about them) a rose to save her Gia looked on and said "are you really that dumb".  I have to agree Gia.  

• The first challenge was the couples straddling each other and see who could do it the longest.  It was a lovely visual.  It really was as Chris Harrison smirks on the sidelines.  There may have been a mention of an erection.  Quality television people.  

• Kasey is an idiot.  He is drinking the cool-aid that Vienna is selling him.  She has that boy snowed with the constant talk of him "protecting" her.  Protecting her from what?  Jake yelled at her once.  Shut up already.  By the way Kasey and Vienna said protect 23 times that I counted.  

• I know that this is an unpopular opinion but I believe Jake and what happened with the breakup  Now I believe that he is just as much of a fame whore as Vienna is but she seems dramatic, stupid and manipulative.  He just wants to be on TV.  

• The two that were booted this first episode I did not even know.  Justin (meathead idiot) and Alli.  

So that was the show in a nutshell.  I hate that this whole thing is about Jake and Vienna and I do hope that this does not continue.  Her fake "I am so scared" face when he walks in the room annoys the crap out of me.  I will try to watch next week but if I continue all season I may not have an IQ left.  Just sayin...

OK OK I am going to watch tonight...

Tonight is the beginning of The Bachelor Pad.  I was not going to watch.  I really, really wasn't.  But the more I read about the stupid activity that will go on in the "pad", I could not resist.  So yes I will watch and I might even make snarky comments and lament about how stupid these people are.  But I will still watch.  Just an FYI...

PS why are they always in bathing suits?

"Maybe its a Spaceship" on The Bachelor Pad

OK, I know I laugh at this show every week, yet I continue to watch.  Deal with it!  The stupidity of the show takes me away from life's little realities.  The Bachelor Pad has become a joke and I cannot turn away.  So this week the group was narrowed down to the final 3 couples but before this happened, here are the high points.

•  Chris Harrison walks in and says that 3 girls are going home immediately.  After a stupid game of spin the bottle, we say farewell to Nikki, Gwen and the other girl.  Did anyone actually think that Kiptyn or Kovacs had the balls to not pick Tenley or Elizabeth?  
• Next up a super fun (so much sarcasm here) game of catch with water balloons.  The minute that Jesse and Peyton lost we all knew that they were going home.  They were not part of the cool kids and should have known that this was the end.  But, ABC had to fill another hour so...
• Natalie and Dave won the balloon toss and got the date.  When the clue came and it said a "night under the stars" no lie one of the brilliant girls stated, "maybe you are going on a spaceship". Well sweetie with ABC anything is possible.  
• No spaceship, just a Lamborghini and a night at a house with a hot tub for Natalie and Dave.  Wow that's different.  
• To get some alone time Elizabeth and Kovacs snuck into the fantasy suite.  They did the deed, and then Elizabeth got the guilts.  So a fight ensued about how Kovacs made no effort with her.  Now I am just guessing but if the guy gets what he wants in the fantasy suite without much efforts, why is that going to change?  
• Meanwhile Jesse and Peyton are trying to save themselves.  Talking with Natalie and Tenley we are led to believe that there might be a chance but no ABC is just filling space.  
• After the rose ceremony we say so long to Jesse and Peyton.  Our final 3 couples are Elizabeth and Kovacs, Tenley and Kiptyn and Natalie and Dave.  Wow the cool kids win again.  

The sheer stupidity of the girls on this show is unbelievable.  Not only that but can someone please inform these girls that sex and hooking up does not equal a relationship.  Oh its fun but it is not going to be long-term.  Next week is the finale' and it will be interesting to see who wins the money.  We all know that no love connection has been made, right?