“Luke, that is very offensive to women. Your mom works very hard, just now she works for us.” -Phil to Luke
Best Mitchell and Cam exchange:
“My dream for him is that one day, he’ll be on the Supreme Court.” – Cam about Mitchell’s lawyering skills
“Why Cam?” -Mitchell (just waiting for the punchline)
“So at parties I can tell people my partner is one of the Supremes.” -Cam
Jay’s best (if slightly offensive) quip of the night: “Part of going to the gym is the locker room atmosphere, and if I’m there with a gay guy, it’s just not gonna be the same. I mean for me it’s a locker room, for him it’s a showroom.” -Jay on going to the gym with Cam
“Some people call me a salesman, I call myself a salesfriend, so obviously I need strangers to trust me. I don’t take it kindly when someone Tom Sellecks my bus bench.” -Phil after discovering that someone drew a mustache on his face on his bus bench ad. Love that he turned Tom Selleck into a verb!
“Just test driving my new soup strainer.” -Phil about his wannabe-Tom Selleck mustache
“Once an old lady yelled at her at a crosswalk—she honked so long the horn ran out.” -Manny about Gloria’s bad driving and her inability to take criticism. How fabulous is Manny by the way?
“Oh sure, when you’re gay you just walk around giving butt bumps to everybody. It’s like a high-five — it’s a low two.” –Cam after Jay says that their butt bump helped Cam’s racquetball game.
And finally, the always-critical parenting lesson of the evening:
“You know how in a fairy tale there’s always a potion that makes the princess fall asleep and then the guys start kissing her? Well, this is like that except you don’t wake up in a castle — you wake up in a frat house with a bad reputation.” Phil’s response to Alex when she asks what Jägermeister is. See, we’re all learning things!